Monday, October 25, 2010

Winter by Adam Young, Owl city.


The leaves were falling from the great oak at the meadow’s edge. They were falling from all the trees. One branch of the oak reached high above the others and stretched far out over the meadow. Two leaves clung to it’s very tip.
“It isn’t the way it used to be,” said one leaf to the other.
“No,” the other leaf answered. “So many of us have fallen off tonight we’re almost the only ones left on our branch.”
“You never know who’s going to go next,” said the first leaf. “Even when it was warm and the sun shone, a storm or a cloudburst would come sometimes and many leaves were torn off, though they were still very young. You never know who’s going to go next.”
“The sun seldom shines now,” sighed the second leaf, “and when it does, it gives no warmth. We must have warmth again.”
“Can it be true,” said the first leaf, “can it really be true, that others come to take our places when we’re gone, and after them still others, and more and more?”
“It really is true,” whispered the second leaf. “We can’t even begin to imagine it, it’s beyond our powers.”
“It makes me very sad,” added the first leaf.
They were silent a while.

Then the first leaf said quietly to itself, “Why must we fall?”
The second leaf asked, “What happens to us when we have fallen?”
“We sink down.”
“What is under us?”
The first leaf answered, “I don’t know. Some say one thing, some another, but nobody knows.”
The second leaf asked, “Do we feel anything, do we know anything about ourselves when we’re down there?”
The first leaf answered, “Who knows? Not one of all those down there has ever come back to tell us about it.”
They were silent again. Then the first leaf said tenderly to the other, “Don’t worry so much about it, you’re trembling!”
“That’s nothing,” the second leaf answered, “I tremble at the least thing now. I don’t feel so sure of my hold as I used to.”
“Let’s not talk any more about such things,” said the first leaf.
The other replied, “No, we’ll let it be. But — what else shall we talk about?” It was silent, but went on after a little while. “Which of us will go first?”
“There’s still plenty of time to worry about that,” the other leaf said reassuringly. “Lets remember how beautiful it was, how wonderful, when the sun came out and shone so warmly that we thought we’d burst with life. Do you remember? And the morning dew and the mild and splendid nights…”
“Now the nights are dreadful,” the second leaf complained, “and there is no end to them.”
“We shouldn’t complain,” said the first leaf gently. “We’ve outlived many, many others.”
“Have I changed much?” asked the second leaf shyly.
“Not in the least,” the first leaf said. “You think so only because I’ve gotton to be so yellow and ugly. But it’s different in your case.”
“You’re fooling me,” the second leaf said.
“No, really,” the first leaf answered eagerly, “believe me, you’re as lovely as the day you were born! Here and there may be a little yellow spot. But it’s hardly noticeable and makes you only more beautiful, believe me.”
“Thanks,” whispered the second leaf, quite touched. I don’t believe you, not altogether, but I thank you because you’re so kind. You’ve always been so kind to me. I’m just beginning to understand how kind you are.
“Hush,” said the other leaf, and kept silent itself, for it was too troubled to talk anymore.
Then they were both silent. Hours passed.
A moist wind blew, cold and hostile through the treetops.
“Ah, now,” said the second leaf, “I…” Then it’s voice broke off. It was torn from it’s place and spun down.
Winter had come.
.


           





      Everything reminds me of you.


















.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Remember me . Remember me.


This one goes out to my beautiful swedes. Ni är så finna.

Vi måste party and party and party forut jag åka hem. det har år ha varit det bästa av alltid ! :)
Jag älskar mina svenska vänner! :) <3

Pussar o kramar
Kom ihåg mig.

När du står ensam kvar på tå
och ytan inte går o nå
När du träffat botten
Kom ihåg mig då

När du tagit första bästa tåg
och gör vad som helst för en dialog
När du står sist i kön
Kom ihåg mig då

När vintern gömmer dina spår
så att du inte hittar hem
När du är vilsen i en vinternatt igen

När det blir varma sommardar
Kom ihåg mig då

När vinterisen ligger klar
Kom ihåg mig då
Här finns du kvar

O när du står på toppen och tittar ner
och det är ljust vart än du ser
När du har vunnit
Kom ihåg mig då

När du får spring i dina ben
och jordens dragningskraft är klen
När du är i luften
Kom ihåg mig då

När våren öppnar sina dörrar
och du tar den långa vägen hem
Och sitter på ute serveringen där vi satt igen

När det blir varma sommardar
Kom ihåg mig då

När vinterisen ligger klar
Kom ihåg mig då
Finns du kvar

När varje dag känns likadan
och när det skymmer över stan
och när du drömmer
Kom ihåg mig då

När du har varit i alla vrår
och testat allt som går och
när du tröttnat
Kom ihåg mig då

När det blir varma sommardar
Kom ihåg mig då

När vinterisen ligger klar

Så finns du kvar
Finns du kvar
Så finns du kvar
Här finns du kvar
Finns du kvar
Finns du kvar

Friday, October 22, 2010

Difficult situations.

So, The snow came last night.
I woke up and looked out my window and smiled and thought it would be a good day. We had Swedish class first, boring. Then a not too good lunch. Then Feminist defence class, which i happilly sat out of and read my book because i didnt feel too good. I have a cold, and its bugging me so much. After my class i went to Mattias house and watched how i met you're mother and listened to Bon Iver.

This weekend is going to be interesting... I'm not looking forward to it at all... :/
All the exchange students from my district are going to Öland (an island) to the district conference... I don't want to go because, simply put, there is going to be lots of exchange student drama. And Exchange Student Drama, its is the worst kind...

Now that the snow is here its making me think that its not long till Christmas, and not long until i go home...
Yesterday i watched the 3rd year people try on their graduation hats... It makes me think, i want to graduate here. My plan is to save lots and lots of money so i can come back here for my classes graduation and party with them. :-) that would be perfect.


So, on the note that:
i am sick.
not looking forward to this weekend.
kinda fucked some stuff up in my life this week.
the snow is here
and i am trying to be positive.



















Until next time,
Lots of love,
Crystal Holt

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Life Status.

Mood: Not happy
Thinking about: Hibernating
Wants to: Snuggle.


This weekend was fun.
I did something i never thought i would do, i slept in a cave in the forest.
The weekend was fun,
Until i got home and had to go back to reality. There is lots going on at the moment.
I go home in 3 months now. Maybe less. I don't know what to think about it...
And i don't know what to do about it.

Lies are everywhere. Trying to avoid them is the toughest bit.

But, then again. I really could use a lie right now.







Good night.




Until next ime,
Lots of love,
Crystal

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Good friends always stick together.

No matter what country you live in. :)

I am soon going to see this girl called Matilda.

So excited :)
It feels like i'm meeting one of my Australian friends, because thats what i know her as.
But, now i know her as Swedish :)






Last night i couldn't sleep. Literally. I am pretty exhausted. I have lots on my mind to think about.
This weekend i have decided to stay away from the computer and turn off my mobile. 
I need to get away from all of this Swedish/exchange student drama.
There is too much.
So, see you Monday. :) Have a nice weekend. I know i will in Lindesberg with Tilly :)


Untill nextime,
Love always.
Crystal

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

What is the meaning of this..?






Truth is, 
        I have no idea.


It's hard to understand people. But sometimes its even more difficult to understand yourself....
And what you want, or need.

But when you know, you know. Why can't it be that simple.




Today i found out something i wanted to know for a while... But, the question is... Now what.?

This song is called 'RE: stacks' 

I'm still trying to figure it out. And also many other things on my mind. 

Things are so complicated sometimes, 
              But sometimes, why not just let it happen and see where the road takes you...





This weekend i am going to see my Swedish friend, Matilda (Tilly). She was on exchange in Australia for a year, the year we became good friends. We became friends in the first half of her year, and in the second half i left for Sweden. It feels strange now, i am in the second half of my year on exchange, and there isnt much time left. 
It has hit me and i wish it hadn't. It makes me think about everything i do. 
Every move i make with my friends,
Everything i say to my host family,
When i am on the bus looking out the window,
or even sitting here writing my thoughts in this house which i call my home.

I just want to do everything i want right now, 
             If only it was that easy...








I have been listening to the album called 'For Emma, Forever Ago' by Bon Iver.

The songs are like riddles. They make you think. I love that about songs. Just laying in bed thinking about just the words and just the simple guitar with the simple words.

::::


This my excavation and today is Kumran
Everything that happens is from now on
This is pouring rain
This is paralyzed

I keep throwing it down two hundred at a time
It's hard to find it when you knew it
When your money's gone
And you're drunk as hell

On your back with your racks as the stacks as your load
In the back and the racks and the stacks are your load
In the back with your racks and you're unstacking your load

I've twisting to the sun I needed to replace
The fountain in the front yard is rusted out
All my love was down 
In a frozen ground

There's a black crow sitting across from me; his wiry legs are crossed
And he's dangling my keys he even fakes a toss
Whatever could it be
That has brought me to this loss?

On your back with your racks as the stacks as your load
In the back and the racks and the stacks of your load
In the back with your racks and you're unstacking your load

This is not the sound of a new man or crispy realization
It's the sound of the unlocking and the lift away
Your love will be
Safe with me 




Until nextime,
Lots of love.
Crystal

Tuesday, October 12, 2010










Time means nothing.







Thursday, October 7, 2010

i miss the snow.