Leaving.

“If ever there is a tomorrow when we’re not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart, I’ll always be with you.”

-Winnie the Pooh

Your Golden Year.

So. It has now reached my 2 month point before going home. I got this email from my district chairman in Australia yesterday. I wanted to cry.

Soon i will be leaving this all, to go home.
Here is what she said:

A year has almost passed and now you stand on the brink of returning to a world where you are surrounded by the paradox of everything and yet nothing being the same.

In two months you will reluctantly give your hugs and, fighting the tears, say goodbye to people who were once just names on your guarantee form to return to people that you hugged and fought tears to say goodbye to before you left 12 months ago.

You will leave your best friends to return to your best friends. You will go back to the places you came from and go back to the same things you did last summer and every summer before.

You will go into town on that same familiar road, and even though it has been a whole year, it will seem like only yesterday.

As you walk into your old bedroom, every emotion will pass through you as you reflect on the way your life has changed and the person you have become. You suddenly realise that the things that were most important to you a year ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the things you hold highest now, no one at home will completely understand.

Who will you call first?

What will you do your first weekend home with your friends?

Where are you going to get a weekend job?

Who will be at the party Saturday night?

What has everyone been up to in the past year?

Who from school will still be my friend?

Then you start to realise how much things have changed, and you realise the hardest part of being an exchange student is balancing the two completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on to everything and all the while trying to figure out what you have to leave

behind.

You now know the meaning of true friendship. You know who you have kept in touch with over the past year and who you hold dearest to your heart. You've left your world to deal with the real world. You've had your heart broken, you've fallen in love, and you’ve helped your best friends overcome eating disorders, depression, stress, and perhaps even death. You've lit candles at the grotto and you've stayed up all night on the phone just to talk to a friend in need. That is true friendship no matter where in the world you are.

There have been times when you've felt so helpless being the other side of the world when you knew your family or friends needed you the most, and there were times when you knew you had made a difference in some small way.

Two months from now you will leave your exchange home.

Two months from now you will take down your pictures, and pack up your clothes. No more catching up with the new friends and families you hold so dear. You will leave your friends whose random Sms’, e-mails and phone calls brought you laughter and tears this past year. You will take your memories and dreams and put them away for now, saving them for your return to this world at a later date.

Two months from now you will arrive back home in Australia.

Two months from now you will unpack your bags and have dinner with your family.

Your Mum or Dad will drive you over to your best friend's house and you will soon catch up with all your friends and family members you hold so dear.  You will return to the same friends whose random Sms’, e-mails and phone calls brought you laughter and tears in previous years. You will unpack old dreams and memories that have been put away for the past year.

In Two months you will dig deep inside to find the strength and conviction to adjust to change and still keep each other close. And somehow, in some way, you will find your place between these two worlds.

In Two months. Are you ready?"

This should make you think how hard it will be to make your friends in Australia understand how life really is. When you have been away for so long, and met so many people from ‘everywhere’ you get a certain ‘pain’ which will follow you for the rest of your life.

It is actually not a ‘pain’, but a ‘need’... a need that pushes you to travel and is possibly what you will want to do for the rest of your life, because the need for international friendships is too strong to keep you just sitting at home.

So, hope and pray that they, the friends you have made while on exchange, will stay your friends.... your best friends, forever and ever. I am sure they will!!

I don't know if i'm ready....

I have awesome friends :) <3

Niklas & i. :) <3 He is also known as 'my bitch' xD

This boy is my brother. He is so chill ice is jealous. NOT xD Oh yeah, and he SUCKS at fifa on xbox

This is Vanessa. Or, Nessa. She is beautiful and a bunch of fun.

These are my favorite Swedes.
The one on the left is my wife, Cornelia (KORN). She proposed so i never have to leave Sweden, and of coarse. Because she never wants to leave me :p
The one on the right is one of my best friends, Malin. :) She is gorgeous and i cant imagine this year without her. :)

Crystal Holt

People.

Sometimes whats best for you isn't what your heart tells you. 

But, these days, it seems like people don't think about themselves enough when it comes to feelings.

 If it is going to hurt you, let go. If it is going to make you happy, go for it. 

One thing is sure, when people act irrationally, it is most of the time not for the best. And may hurt you in the end, whatever it may be.

But there is only so much that the heart, and also the head, can handle.

We all with things where simple and that easy, but they aren't. 

You have to fight for what you believe in, you have to fight for what you want.

So be prepared to get hurt. Be prepared to have to get back up again when you fall down. Or else life will be so much more difficult.

Friendship.

You meet new people everyday. It is always up to you if you will keep them in your life or not. I have met so many people in this beautiful city, and this beautiful country. I don't want to ever let go of them.

But, then reality hits. Some of these people i wont ever see again. Distance is just one part of it.

People change. Friends become memories.

It is only up to you to make the most of those people in your life. Keep those friendships.

Whatever it takes.

Kisses and hugs. Everyone needs them.

Good night.

Crystal Holt.

Snow.

Don't you love when you walk outside and the first snow for the season hits you on the cheeks. Knowing every single snow flake is unique and chose to land on you.
It makes me smile waking up and opening the window finding pretty, white, soft snowflakes falling softly to the ground and hitting the window pane.

I'm happy you are finally here snow. :)
You make the world seem more beautiful.

Your words

'I really love words.    And i think about them all the time.

The way that they fit together, the way that they change things. The right words can transform whatever, whoever, they touch.

Words are powerful.

They hurt and they heal, they show you things in a completely different light.'

Sometimes when you say things, honestly, its like you don't care what effect they have on other people, but sometimes you want them to have an effect on someone but that person just ignores it.

There are many words. And depending on how you fit together, they all mean something special.

Wish you would see that...